We’d like to think that after we say “I do,” that our marriage will begin without encountering any issues. Very few people are that lucky. The reality is that many people struggle with in their marriages. After all, we’re all human and it is only natural to get in some disagreements with our partner.

However, if disagreements are a routine problem or you’ve been struggling with one particular issue for a long time, that might signal that something in your marriage is in need of repair. Whether you’ve been married for years, are about to tie the knot, or are considering marrying the partner you’re with now, check out these red flags to keep an eye out for in your marriage.

Controlling Behavior

It is completely normal for partners to expect things from one another, but a partner should never become controlling. Often times, controlling behavior comes from a partner’s jealousy. If you are hanging out with other men or women and your partner becomes extremely jealous, they may begin attempting to control your behavior in an effort to stop any perceived affair. This controlling behavior can come in the form of constantly asking where you are, demanding updates, and forbidding you to go certain places or hang out with certain people.

Lack of Communication

Everyone knows that a good relationship is based on open communication. Communication allows you to express affection for your partner to remind them how much you love them, but also to work out issues when they arise. If you’re experiencing a communication breakdown with your partner, issues that need to be discussed often go underneath the rug. This can lead to said issue becoming even worse until it becomes almost impossible to fix.

Belittling You

While we should never look to a relationship to act as our source of self-confidence, our relationship should NEVER make us feel worse about ourselves. Relationships are not to be the only source of our happiness, but they should make us happy. A partner should never make you feel worse about yourself, whether that is through making constant comments about your appearance or making you feel stupid or silly, especially when you raise concerns about your marriage.

An Affair

This goes without saying, but an affair is an immediate red flag for a marriage. Usually, when an affair occurs, it is because one partner feels as if something in the relationship is lacking or they feel neglected by their partner. Affairs can lead to a wide variety of issues, most notably a lack of trust between partners that can threaten to ruin the marriage.

What to Do

If you’ve noticed any of the above signs in your relationship, you should attempt to reach out to a marriage counselor, like Kathleen Snyder MFT, as soon as possible. A marriage counselor can help you identify problems with your marriage and, if you’re willing, work on those problems in an effort to save your marriage. Sometimes we can’t fix some issues ourselves, and that’s okay!

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